Passover is supposed to be a joyous holiday, but for many people with food issues, the holiday can be anxiety-provoking. First of all, the rituals themselves focus on food-this can be a problem for people who try to avoid putting too much attention on food, or those who try to adhere to a specific food plan. Even for individuals whose seder may not involve all the traditional rituals, the meal is usually characterized by an abundance of food. This is challenging for people who have a tendency to overeat. Instead of enjoying the meal and celebrating the Jews' freedom from slavery in Egypt, those of us who struggle with compulsive overeating or those who restrict our food, may feel enslaved by the food obsession.
For people who are observant, there are additional stressors-having to handle lots of carbohydrates and sweets as we clean out all the leavened products from our cupboards, the involved process of changing dishes, and having to change one's diet for eight days. All of this can throw us into a tizzy if we are trying to avoid tempting food, or if we have specific foods that feel safe, but are off limits because of the holiday.
For most people, regardless of their level of observance, Passover means being with family, and this can bring up many feelings, both good and bad. On the one hand, it may be great to catch up with family members we haven't seen in a while, but it can also bring with it anxiety. Often we think our families are judging us because we are not married, we aren't thin enough, or our children aren't better behaved. We often feel ashamed of how we look, and we worry about not getting approval. The holiday can also bring up sadness as we look around the table and notice who is missing. The challenge for people with eating issues is to manage all of these feelings without trying to squash them with excess food.
So what can we do to turn this holiday into a true celebration of freedom and rather than continuing our enslavement to food? Try to have authentic conversations with those family members you can connect with. If you are feeling sad about a family member who has passed away, perhaps you can mention it to someone who you feel close to. If intimate conversation makes you feel too vulnerable, then it is an opportunity to practice containing feelings without acting out with food. Remind yourself that you are choosing freedom from slavery to food every time you make the choice to feel your feelings rather than eat over them.
Here are some additional strategies that may help:
- Don't leave for the seder overly hungry-and definitely don't fast the night before
- Listen to a meditation or relaxation recording before the meal if at all possible
- During the meal, try to rise above what may just be imagined thoughts of what people are thinking of you
- Try to focus on the connection between freedom from Egypt and freedom from obsession with food and weight
- Think of three things you are grateful for
Passover is about liberation from bondage. My hope for you is that you are able to experience this holiday with renewed freedom from body image concerns, food obsession, and weight.