In an ideal world, we would all eat when we are physically hungry and stop when we are full. But most of us are not able to do that. Especially not during holidays, like Thanksgiving, which are often followed by regret, and even self-flagellation for having overeaten.
It is common to fall into hopelessness after a food-filled holiday, and that often leads to feelings of depression and anxiety. Ironically, the more discouraged we are, the more we eat. Obsessing about what you did wrong is not the way toward good physical and emotional health.
If you were not able to eat moderately during Thanksgiving, this is the time for a new approach. There are three main approaches to eliminating overeating, including Intuitive Eating, Healthy Eating, and eliminating sugar and/or white flour.
Intuitive Eating
Eating when hungry and stopping when full, the ideal, is easiest to achieve by imagining hunger and fullness on a scale between zero and 10. We should aim to start meals when hunger is at a level three (slightly hungry) and stop when fullness is at a seven, which means we can walk away from the table feeling light.
Most emotional eaters will initially say that they have no idea when they're hungry and can't remember ever eating according to hunger and fullness. For people who have been binging or eating heavily for many years, it may take several hours before you feel hunger for the first time. However, once you start listening to your hunger signals, and the body self-regulates, you are likely to get hungry at least every four to six hours. It is important to be aware that eating intuitively often means eating smaller amounts of food than we are used to, and can feel initially disappointing. This is especially true for women.
Don't put yourself down if this method does not work for you. It is often difficult because it can require having many of the different parts of your life in balance. This can include a strong support system and sources of joy other than food in your life. Usually, intuitive eaters are those who have had a childhood with healthy caregivers who were tuned in to hunger and fullness. They knew the difference between the infant’s cries for hunger, tiredness, or stomach aches and responded appropriately.
For people who did not have this opportunity, one of the other methods below may be more achievable.
Healthy Eating
For even the healthiest of eaters, it is important to allow occasional foods not typically considered “clean.” For example, if you occasionally eat chocolate, ice cream, candy, cake, pizza, or a bagel, don't beat yourself up. We know that the more people deprive themselves, the more they binge. Aim for healthy eating 80% of the time, and you are likely to have the most success. If you expect to follow the plan 100%, it just leads to unattainable perfectionism and a backlash.
Eliminating Sugar and/or White Flour
For people who have not been successful with either of the methods above, and are feeling hopeless or out of control, perhaps the sanest method to handle food is eliminating certain trigger foods, like sugar and/or white flour. If you need additional support with this method, many of the food-based 12-step programs are often a wise way to go. The 12-step programs break the isolation and offer ways to deal with life’s stressors without excess food. They are available 24 hours a day, seven days a week, and they are free. It's very hard to beat that. A plethora of information is available by searching the internet for “12-Step programs” and “food.”
What if I Messed Up Over Thanksgiving?
Don’t beat yourself up for excessive eating over the Thanksgiving holiday. Thanksgiving, is a holiday that publicly sanctions overeating, so it can be hard to avoid. If you missed the mark on Thanksgiving, and even binged on the following days, it is important to acknowledge it happened and it's over. The key is to determine what you can learn from it and how to move on in a positive direction.
One of the things I hear constantly that keeps people stuck is labeling food as “good” or “bad.” We often think of things like pasta, potato chips, or donuts as “bad.” There is no “good” food and there is no “bad” food. It is critical to stop judging food and judging ourselves for what we eat. If we want to break free from the obsession with food and struggle with weight, we need to let go of the judgements and the goal of being perfect.
We don’t need to be frightened of the holidays and the special foods that often come with them. We can allow ourselves to loosen our standards a little, while focusing on the meaning of the holiday and enjoying ourselves. Every time you eat is a new opportunity to make a food choice that you can feel good about—and that’s something to celebrate. Happy Holidays!